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Zach's Dissertation Defending ABC’s The Bachelor Franchise

Updated: Jan 17, 2021

“Zach!? You like the Bachelor!? Come on man.”

The answer one receives on this question varies…


Fairly Confident Zach: Oh yeah. It’s garbage TV but it’s MY kind of garbage TV.

Apprehensive Zach: Yeah yaknow it isn’t awful… I mainly watch because of Kristen.

Nervous Zach: Your right, it’s a ridiculous show. I should stop watching.

Probably the best answer is fairly confident Zach. It’s not great television. At times the producers twist and set up things that makes it infuriating to watch. But there are also moments of little gold sprinkled in. You get your Bennett’s, your JPJ’s, your Demi’s, your Tayshia’s, your Hannah Beasts, your Jordan’s, and everything in between. It’s truly a fascinating “universe” the Bachelor is creating with their contestants in recent seasons.

1. Watching everyday people turn into overnight celebrities is fascinating. The fact everyone this season is swooning over a guy from South Dakota tells it all. A few good one liners, good date, or a weird suit can dramatically change someone’s life forever.

2. It’s a fun way to hangout with friends. See #9… what’s a better thing to do on a Monday or Tuesday evening than drink some Franzia wine and talk shit about some random people you don’t know at all.

3. You can make a fantasy league out of it. I did that. Made a trophy, logos, etc.

4. There are heroes – JPJ, Bennett, and Rachel come to mind as recent heroes from previous seasons. God bless em.

5. There are villains – Corrine, Krystal with a K, Chris the Goose, Yosef come to mind as spicy villains that inject the show with life.

6. Chris Harrison – What a guy

7. The first night is truly a whirlwind – Must see TV

8. Bachelor in Paradise is gold

9. It’s either on a Monday or Tuesday night… what else are you gonna do? See #2 again.

10. Great watercooler talk with ladies. Sure sports are manly, but there’s nothing wrong with dipping your toe in the occasional romance drama… and technically, it’s also competition.

What I wish they did different

1. I’ve never really watched Big Brother, but it sounds like they practically have around the clock cameras that superfans can tune into from time to time. I think the Bachelor franchise should certainly do something similar.

2. Tone down the fabricated drama. I don’t care about an Instagram message before the show started. If there isn’t much drama.. let’s just watch Bennett bro out in his penthouse… Again that is where some of the magic of Bachelor in Paradise comes into play

3. Throw in the occasional celebrity bachelor/bachelorette contestant. Imagine if Rob Gronkowski was the bachelor!?!?! Truly seasons that stand out are ones with a strong/memorable lead and a strong/memorable few lead contestants. No one remember Arie and Lauren, but everyone will remember Hannah Ann and Hannah Beast, ya feel me?

Like Jay Rock, you either with me or against me though. WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN.

Thanks for attending this Ted Talk.

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